Hey, I, I, oh I'm still alive

Testing 1, 2, 3... *cough*... Hello? Is anyone still out there?

*waving so excitedly that the fat under my arm is jiggling* Hi! How I've missed you all! When I said I might be MIA, I was thinking more like three days, not almost three weeks. Oy!

Thanks to those of you who emailed and tweeted to make sure I was still alive. It's nice to know that if I disappeared, someone besides my cat would notice.  :)  So let's catch up, shall we?

• My absence began when Hubby and I went to visit our adorable nieces and finally meet our new nephew. If you look up the definition of chillaxed, you would see our nephew's picture next to it. Of course, having a 3-year-old and 5-year-old sister might have something to do with that. Perhaps the most memorable moment was a conversation I had with my oldest niece, which went something like this:

A: Do you have any babies?

Me: No.

A: My mommy had three babies.

Me: That's right, she did.

A: I came out first.

Me: You sure did.

A: I want to have five babies when I grow up.

Me: Wow, that's a lot!

Never missing an opportunity for education, I quizzed her.

Me: How many boys and girls do you want to have.

Pause accompanied by a thoughtful look.

A: I want to have two girls. And three boys.

Celebrating in my mind ensues.

A. But I don't know who I'm gonna marry yet.

Celebrating turns into concentrated effort to keep the Diet Coke from coming out my nose.

• Hubby and I achieved a notable accomplishment on this trip. Long story short, there is this dreadful Chia Pet clown head that gets passed around as a gag gift at our annual holiday gathering. Two years ago, Hubby and I received Chuckie, as he is lovingly called. When it was our turn to give Chuckie away, we weren't able to make it home to take part in the festivities. We had these elaborate plans to deliver him from afar, but we ultimately decided to wait a year and hope that everyone would forget about him, making the reveal that much better. When the next Christmas rolled around, we spent weeks plotting and scheming. Again, none of our plans panned out, and we opted to tell everyone that Chuckie had sadly been lost in our move. Everyone bought it, somewhat concerned that the new owners of our house would receive a frightening surprise when they opened the attic. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we were packing for our trip. I thought this would be the perfect time for Chuckie to reemerge, when everyone was least expecting it. The fact that he comfortably fit in my carryon, was complete validation (thank goodness my bag wasn't searched - can you imagine trying to explain that one to TSA?!). Hubby was tasked with finding Chuckie the perfect spot in my MIL's house before we left. We both had this fantasy of putting him someplace where he would be seen in a mirror (you know, because finding a Chia Pet clown head in your house isn't creepy enough on its own). About five minutes before our departure, Hubby nestled Chuckie on a towel rack in my MIL's bathroom where he could stare at her in the mirror. *insert evil cackle* The following hours were agonizing, as we anxiously awaited the call letting us know that he had been discovered. At around 11:30 that night, it finally came. Our MIL somehow missed him in the mirror, but when she reached to the rack for a towel, she came face-to-face with Chuckie's frightening grin. Lucky for us, she has a strong heart. (Warning to all those with clown phobias: picture follows.)

Isn't Chuckie the perfect name?

He looks like he's going to kill you in your sleep.

...Hm, I had honestly planned to continue my three-week recap here, but really, where do you go from Chuckie?

Thanks for sticking with me during my blog's blackout. I'm excited to finally put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) again, and I look forward to catching up with you in your corner of the blogosphere in the days to come. Have a great weekend!

Disclaimer: lyrics in title belong to Pearl Jam. If they belonged to me, I'd be rich.